During one of my sessions with a psychologist, they asked me to return to the next appointment with a list of things I liked/loved about myself and things I disliked/hated about myself.
I believe this was to give us a more focused starting point for my low self esteem. I think we were supposed to work our way through the list of dislikes and ‘neutralise’ them and perhaps remove or move them into the positive column.
As you can probably tell by my language choice, this is not what happened!
I handed my list over to the psychologist and I swear her eyes filled with water! The list session was postponed and we never did get back to it!
You see either I was in too dark a place or my psychologist underestimated how much I don’t like myself. I discovered once I started to write the list, I couldn’t stop. This probably wouldn’t have been a problem but it was all in the dislike/hate column!
Here is my dislike/hate list! The scoring out at the top of pages is because I kept expecting to start the like column.
What I found was every time I tried to think of something positive, my inner critic would point out why it wasn’t true and she had very compelling arguments!
Here is my like/love list!
My aim, whilst there’s this ‘speck’ of light, is to work my way through the list and get something in the like column. I will be utilising this blog as a means of tracking the changes and how it goes!
Only thing left to do is for me to ‘pick one’ to start! I’ll be back once that’s done!
Happy Bank Holiday to those who get them!
Love D x